Friday, March 27, 2009

The sign on the apartment door (Nine Things About Oracles)

A contribution to an ongoing thread, in response to this pendant:

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The Oracle is in 6-8 Tuesdays, Thursdays and the first and third Saturdays of the month. First come, first serve. No appointments.

Do not let the cat out when you open the door. No smoking.

One person at a time, one question at a time. Trust me on this.

Payment required before services rendered. Pay what you think an answer to your question is worth. Barter accepted.

If there is a line, a three-question limit is in effect.

You must be old enough to ask the Oracle. Age is relative; she will know if you are.

Do not poke the Oracle. She is not asleep. She is not dead. She is working.

The answer is the answer. If you want clarification, see a therapist. (Due to possible conflicts of interest, the Oracle can not recommend a therapist.)

The Oracle can not communicate with your lost loved ones. See Odette down the hall for that. Follow the smell of incense, you can't miss it.

6 comments:

The Fantom Ferret said...

Here from Elsie's LJ. Do you mind if I link to this?

sarahhorton72 AT gmail

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Awesome.

Hanne Blank said...

Nice. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

*laughs*
That was very nice. I think I would like that Oracle.

Elise said...

I think my favorite line is "Do not poke the Oracle. She is not asleep. She is not dead. She is working."

Love that so much.

Bridget said...

I imagine she might also have a poster hanging on the wall behind her saying something like, "May bite if unduly prodded."

Is pleased that you like